Friends,

This time last week we were in Lynn, Massachusetts for the second memorial service for Mum. It was at our home church, the Washington Street Baptist Church (ABCUSA). Pastor Eric Nelson has been there for 30 years, and so he and Mum and Dad had many engaging experiences of service and ministry together. Several people came out to greet Dad and stay for the service. Then we had a luncheon with family, extended family and friends. By Friday the immediate family of Dad, my brother Robin and his wife Kelly, Mandy and her husband Bill, Jane and me, all settled in for three days of being together. We rested, ate very well, reminisced, laughed, watched hours of the food channel and HGTV.

We began the process of healing. It was good to be together. We have a closeness now that goes beyond the good closeness we have always had. Rob and I as brothers have now traveled a road together that has always been at a distance. It is a road that many of you are familiar with and have traveled it well. It is a road we have known we must travel….someday. Someday has arrived. In some ways the road signs appeared quickly. In fact we were all so engaged in the journey together, we were taken aback when the road suddenly curved and we found ourselves at the rest stop called “So Long” . Let me go back to a week ago today. Driving through Boston and Lynn and the surrounding areas even though it had been years since I drove those streets, they were still familiar. Oh, some were now one way and many landmarks were different, yet there was a comfort in being familiar with the terrain. And this week I notice that the terrain of our lives has been altered. The landmarks of Syracuse are the same. The road signs are the same. The traveling companions have changed though. The details of daily travel to Iroquois Nursing Home have changed. We don’t pull into the Nursing Home driveway anymore. We drive on by aware that the accustomed pattern of travel would pull us into the parking area. The travel map of life has changed. Mum is no longer part of the travel plans and preparations. There is an empty seat in the car. There is an empty place at the table.

Tuesday began the new chapter of living a “new normal”. We don’t know what that brings yet. We do know the journey continues amid the changes, and we find comfort in knowing that amid the uncertainties there are friends like you who have successfully adapted to the new normalcy of your life when someone you love has been called to the next world of promise. The Kavanagh’s appreciate knowing that you will watch us and assist us in the journey with continued encouragement. You are a great gift to Dad. You especially have touched his heart. Jane and I (and the rest of the clan) have felt your presence and spirit with us through this journey. We are grateful. We thank you for sustaining us and feeding our faith amid the natural grief when spouse or parent dies. Again thank you. Some of you will understand this next reflection.

Over the last several years since Mum could not get to the store on her own, she would frequently ask me to pick her up some hard candy at Wegmans. I think she asked me because of my indulgent spirit. I would choose several pounds of her favorites, and I would feel good in presenting her with the gift of sweets. Early this morning I stopped by Wegmans on the way to the office (to pick up healthy snacks for the staff) and as I took an inner store shortcut something happened. I unconsciously turned down the bulk candy aisle. I passed the hard candy section and the location felt familiar. Familiar not just where I found myself standing, but familiar in heart location. It was where I stood oodles of times over many, many months choosing with love that which would please Mum. It felt so darned familiar, and yet now it felt very different. It felt bittersweet. Sweet in the memory of love, bitter in the knowledge I need not be stopping here anymore. Someone said last week that Gloria is seeking out the greatest candy store on high for when Joe relocates. What they didn’t know was that Mum would seek out the candy store for her own sweet tooth.

May your faith fulfill your cravings for the sweets of the heart. I love you dearly and share my hope of resurrection with you. You are great companions of the highway of faith and life. I am blessed. Pastor Scott